Who to Blame?

Coming to Provincetown is always a rejuvenating, relaxing, renewing experience and the place where I am most able to re-balance, to settle. The light, the air, and the rhythm of the sea all contribute to the peace and beauty of this unique spot. As I walk along the beach in town I can't help but think about the oil seeping into the ocean in the Gulf of Mexico, creating havoc on the coastal environments of Louisana and threatening Mississippi, Alabama and Florida. And it seems that the steps taken to remedy the problem are adding new ones. Not only are thousands of gallons of oil escaping by the day, but the chemical dispersant used to break up the spill is causing more destruction to the fish and wildlife. The many inexperienced clean-up crews working on the beaches and in the marshes are trampling the flora and disturbing nesting areas.

As BP struggles to find a solution to the spewing oil, the government tries to clean up the dysfunctional Minerals Management Agency, and the people in Louisiana wonder how they will survive another environmental disaster, many others of us are deciding who is most at fault. The media is good at encouraging us to "blame". Headlines in the NY Times yesterday include these: Leak may Go Through August, Obama Aides Say, as Criticism Mounts; Well Known Problems of Drilling Agency Still Avoided Fixes; Cleanup Draws Critics Over Speed and Care - this on only two pages. Yet I hear little about the collective responsibility that all of us share because of the ways we have designed our lives. So many wonderful advances have given (many of) us in the US comfort, luxury and choice. It is hard to reverse that. So, at the same time that we criticize the government & big business, we balk at paying high prices for gasoline. The more I see going wrong these days, the more my heart opens to our collective dilemma - how to move forward using the knowledge and technological advances we have - with the intelligence and foresight that we need to survive.

Scenes from My Life in the Art World - The Fine Arts Work Center

I am once again at the Fine Arts Work Center for an annual retreat. A fellow in 1978, I have the good fortune of being able to return for a short residency each year. It is a time to regroup - to clear my head after the busy winter months when work outside the studio limits work in the studio. Summer always comes with great expectations and more often than not these expectations are not met - fewer finished drawings, a stack of unread books, missed deadlines. However, I am usually surprised with what I manage to do each time I settle into my Provincetown routine.

I start this year's residency with more questions than plans. There are lots of ideas floating around but little clarity about how to proceed. Typically, this time is spent exploring new terrain - as it was 30-some years ago when I was a fellow here. I step away from the flow of activity related to my ongoing studio practice and investigate tangent paths.

Since December I have been looking closely at the structure of the New York Times - the source of most of my drawing references. I realized, one Sunday when I was looking for an article embedded in the front section, that the advertising was taking over and obscuring the news information. Splashy, colorful, often full page, the ads easily distracted me. Oftentimes the juxtaposition, on facing pages, of brand messaging and news content was absurd. Also challenging is the complexity of information. Not information itself, but the noise of too much information - especially when it is layered with opinion which further distracts from the essential.

Early this year I started a drawing project where I schematically mapped out a front section of the Sunday Times, replacing each rectangle of advertising with a camouflage pattern. This led to some gouache paintings and now I'm exploring how I might approach the images digitally. There are so many more questions than answers right now about both form and concept - including why do this at all when I have way more work than I can manage with my large graphite & gunpowder pieces?

As uncomfortable as it is sometimes, I always find that these periods of exploration result in a deeper engagement with my work - even if the particular side path dead ends. So, I'm grateful to the Work Center for the ongoing support and for the quiet freedom to stumble around on my own for a couple of weeks each spring.

Scenes from My Life in the Art World - The Audience

We went to the Regatta bar last night for a lovely evening of Cabaret singing by a friend of a friend. The room was full and the singer was glowing as the audience enthusiastically encouraged an encore. Two weeks ago we were in the same room listening to another friend play jazz piano to a smaller but equally excited crowd. Both performers had worked really hard to build the audience. For many artists working steadily along out of the limelight, the responsibility is theirs to bring in the customers, depending on loyal friends & acquaintances to fill a venue.

My experience with the gallery world is not unlike this. A number of years ago I contacted a gallery at the suggestion of another artist and the owners were interested in my work, which at the time consisted of oil paintings on plaster & drawings derived from old family photographs. The gallerists were drawn to the images and offered me a summer show in Provincetown. They told me during a studio visit that they were interested in building their stable of artists, adding to the successful people they have already cultivated. With new artists it was a process, they said, of career building and they were hoping to take a few new people on. I was excited. It seemed like they were committed to promoting me by featuring my work in an exhibition and engaging their existing collectors. As summer approached the gallery contract arrived and there was a request for me to send them a list of my collectors. I was a little taken aback - why would I sell work to people I already had a relationship with through a gallery that would take 50% of the income? I have no problem with the shared revenue when the gallery is doing the promoting & selling - isn't that what their job is? Anyway, it was a new relationship and an investment in a future with the gallery so I sent some names and signed the contract.

The show was a big success! At least it seemed that way at the opening which was busy with energized viewers. My exhibition was part of a four person opening and everyone brought in friends along with the Friday night gallery hopping crowd that fills the streets in August. One of the gallery owners told me that it was the loveliest installations she had mounted - all four artists in harmony, an appreciative crowd. But nothing of mine sold.

After the show the gallery stopped communicating with me - even took me off the mailing list for their other shows. No second chance. No nurturing, no investing in a future. It was a little discouraging to say the least and a wake-up call. The fantasy of a gallery taking up the challenge of promoting a new artist and helping to build an audience was not the way it typically works. The artist should make the work, promote the work, bring in the buyers and be grateful to have a venue to get the work out into the world.

I am grateful. Grateful to have the intense engagement with my work that helps me get past the not so pleasant things that happen outside the studio. Like last night, I am grateful for the people who support and appreciate what I do creatively. It is a blessing to connect in a substantive way with an audience - even an audience of one.

Log Jam

It continues to be disheartening to watch as our government virtually shuts down due to stubbornness and ill will. I have always valued dialogue and learning - learning about ideas and opinions that I don't share. Rather than categorizing opposing views as ignorant, ill-informed, idiotic, malicious - I hope to come to understand others better. Although all of us are dealing with the same human shortcomings and trials, we are not coming from the same experiences & backgrounds which makes for varied perspectives. It would seem that the people given the responsibility of runing a goverment for all it's people would want to investigate differences and find common goals, a common language. It seems simple and I truly believe that our president thinks this way. This is why I was hopeful a year ago - hopeful that his example & leadership would open new paths. Unfortunately many are determined to stay the course and continue to infect this great nation with fear, conflict, anger and a disabling negative energy. I continue to be hopeful - but am not so joyful at the moment

Under the Gun

Tonight we will hear from President Obama about the state of our union. A year ago there seemed to be a cautiously optimistic euphoria surrounding the president and his intention to unite this union. Yesterday the new New Yorker arrived with a cover illustration of Barack walking on water - then falling in. The honeymoon with optimism is definitely over. With his election I was hopeful that we could re-find the connectedness we discovered on September 11, 2001 when the playing field was leveled and our common trauma brought us together as a nation. He seemed intent on closing the partisan divide. But its been disheartening to watch Obama struggle under the weight of his inherited mess and to be criticized for his every move. I'm discouraged. But I don't blame him - I blame us. Expectation that the problems that have been building for a very long time can be turned around in one short year of a new presidency is unrealistic and unfair. But we have come to expect immediate satisfaction and have come to find comfort in blame - as irrational as that often is. The fact is that many people are struggling right now and for many the response is to lash out and burrow in - to polarize, to divide & protect, to loose the compassion and understanding that brings people together for the common good.

All that said, I still have hope that we can find a different path. I look forward - with a little reserve - to hearing something promising tonight. Can President Obama break through the anger, the frustration, the bitterness of a nation unhinged? I haven't given up on that.